hold on and drown or let it go.....

I used to cry when I would go back and read the first email I wrote to the married co-worker that slept with my then husband, now I read it and shake my head wondering how I was even able to put a sentence together during that time. I am stronger than I ever thought I was, how I did not end up on the 5 O'clock news during that time is beyond me.

I realize at some point I will need to let go of each piece of that time in order to move on, keeping only the lesson that is supposed to be learned from it. I'm still in the process of trying to figure out what the lesson is. Maybe the lesson is forgiveness isn't easy, and nothing that truly helps us grow as people will be.

My personal goal this year is to work toward actual forgiveness of this action....not for them, but for me. Carrying around all this anger and resentment is like trying to swim while holding onto a concrete block, you can't do it and stay above water, so I can hold on to it and drown, or let it go and live. I can't forget what happened...but it is in my power to forgive what was done to me.



From: mosgrove-@gmail.com
To: sherylp-----@hotmail.com
Subject: Need to talk
Date: Fri, 15 Aug 2008 15:16:32 +0000

I'm not sure how an email like this is supposed to start, but here goes I'm Josh's wife, we have 3 beautiful children together , We have been together since we were 17. We have have now been married for 10 years. This past Saturday I became devastatingly aware of the fact that he has gone outside our marriage (but you are already aware of this).

First of all relax I'm not going to contact your husband, I have no intentions of trying to contact you  further beyond this email, but if you ever contact my husband again in any way, for any reason I will contact your husband, and I don't think you want that. So lose his number, lose his email.

I do however want to give you the heads up that you should go and get tested because my husband has apparently been sleeping with prostitutes for about 6 years now....How special do you feel now, you are no better than the others...the only difference between you and them is They got paid. 

That is actually how I found out about you, we were actually in a counseling session trying to work this out when you emailed him asking if he had told anyone.....well now he has. Thanks, he may not have told me, but had to when your email came across. Kind of ironic huh?

I haven't got my test results back yet but if you want, I can let you know if you should really be worried when I get them back next week. Not that I should care about you or your health. I almost hope you do get something it would serve you right, and maybe you'll think twice before crawling into bed with anyone other than your husband, and if not at least maybe you'll stay away from other peoples' husbands.

 

 How could a mom do something like this, did your child/ children ever cross your mind, did you really think it was going to go somewhere beyond that night, you are a very sad person, and you should be very careful doing these kinds of things, because eventually people get found out and you are so lucky that this time it was me.... because I love my kids enough not to do anything stupid, but one of these times you are going to come across a wife that will not just write you an email....they will come after you, so you should feel very lucky that I love my kids more than I want to hurt you.

So that old saying" What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" is just a myth, and unlike the Easter bunny STD's really do exist. So I hope you learned something from this experience, and don't think that I'm placing all the blame on you, he is sooooo to blame,  he will a very lucky man if I don't leave him.

For now your secret is safe with me, only because I don't need some guy coming to hurt the father of my 3 beautiful kids because they love their daddy very much, so the only thing keeping you from being exposed now is my kids....take a look at them, you should thank them, you should thank me, and you should start doing some serious praying for yourself. If you feel like there is something you need to say or maybe you want to apologize feel free to call me 360 713-8837

Anna